Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
