Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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