we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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