i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
