Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
