Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
