that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
