I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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