Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Actions speak louder than pants.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
