Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
