It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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