$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
