VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
