Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
