whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
