i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
