I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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