The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
