I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
