Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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