I wish I could teleport
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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