can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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