Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
