he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
