you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
