David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize