He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
