well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize