I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
