what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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