girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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