Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
