ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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