I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
