hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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