dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
