oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
