My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
