i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How does one acquire holy water?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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