i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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