is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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