The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
