You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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