i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
should my penis look like a turkey
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
