How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
