I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
