with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
