he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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