I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
