one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
