Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Houston, we have a blender
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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