And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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