but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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