If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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