dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
