All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Randomize
