The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
