They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize