why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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