Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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