It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
