Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Having a random hookup so left but love u
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I've blown a few things in my day
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
